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Divorce in the Age of Social Media

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Portents and the Island

Image by: ronsaunders47

(Excerpt From Facebook Ate My Marriage.  Republished with permission from Hell Bent Press and the Author)

Chapter 21:  Portents and the Island

On our wedding night, DeeAnn and I did not have sex. This is not an entirely unusual event, or so friends have told me, following the full production wedding. So this, I am told, cannot be taken as a portent, despite the fact that we were quite alarmingly regular and mutually satisfied in our sexual relations up until that night. As she snoozed next to me in the airport hotel, thrumming that odd snore that was already familiar to me from our previous two years of living together (and that would grow in volume and develop a distinctive tenor quality over the next three decades), I turned on the television. What appeared was the sequence from a now ancient – and even at that time a classic – television program starring Patrick McGoohan. The program of course was the “The Prisoner,” and the sequence was the scene where the bars slam shut before Patrick McGoohan’s face as a still shot of him is moved to the foreground in the opening sequence; this all to drive home the idea that he was “The Prisoner” and was trapped on “The Island.”

It was that exact sequence that I saw as I lay in the hotel bed, newlywed, unable to sleep (as would be the case for the better part of three decades), and was considering our honeymoon plans. We were going to an island – you know the type: beautiful beaches, debilitating humidity, private hotel enclaves situated among devastating poverty, drug addiction and disease. Where smiling native escorts guide you from the hotel property, for a fee and gratuity, into the “picturesque” recesses of the “tropical island nation” to take in the local sites and nature’s majesty. All of this so that you can walk along “rarely trodden paths” to see “cascading mountain waterfalls,” which your guide has the newlyweds wade out into so they can stand beneath the falls and have their picture taken as they “embrace and shower in its pristine waters.” (more…)

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  • Marriage And Ball Gags

    Image by: ryumu

    (Excerpt From Facebook Ate My Marriage.  Republished with permission from Hell Bent Press and the Author)

    Chapter 3:  Instant Messaging

    In 2002, after she was involved in an accident in Urbandale during a snow storm, my wife announced that we were moving to Florida. This was not news to me. In the previous decade, my wife had spent a month or more in the state of Florida mid-winter visiting her parents every year. The trend, as they would say, was not my friend. Our dental practice had been going well, and what is more, it went better when she was absent. This is not something I recognized at the time. But love is blind and marriage is a ball gag, harness and handcuffs (if you are single and have never been married you won’t understand that part of the sentence, so don’t even try). (more…)

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  • Image by:  Ninja M.

    (Excerpt From Facebook Ate My Marriage.  Republished with permission from Hell Bent Press and the Author)

    Chapter 2:  Two Lost Bets and Failure

    When I arrived at the clinic, Bernice Halson was already in the chair. In retrospect, I should have taken the day off from the practice. I had spent the morning at the attorney’s office signing the paperwork that would bring to an end my marriage. Not an event that puts one in a pleasant frame of mind, nor one that has one in the best of dispositions for the mindless civilities of professional life.

    Bernice Halson on a good day is an objectionable patient. She is a committed flosser, brushes three times a day, and attends regular cleanings. Despite radiation from multiple x-rays, with a lifetime of exposure to fluoridation at every possible level, she is the possessor of a fine set of teeth. Even her wisdom teeth arrived and remained, without any inconvenience. Her teeth – like her manicured nails and well tanned and toned body – represented something abhorrent to me. As a dentist, I should marvel that the millions of dollars spent annually to educate children on the importance of oral hygiene should have produced such a perfect patient. I knew better. Bernice Halson was simply vain. Her teeth, like her French manicured toes, were possessions, and as such were maintained to their admirable standard on this premise alone. But what I suppose I find most objectionable about Bernice Halson – attractive, toned and in her early forties – is that she is exactly who and what my soon-to-be ex-wife imagines herself to be. (more…)

    Some Thoughts On Attorneys

     

    Lawyers Guns n Money

     

     

     Image by:  k763

     

    (Excerpt From Facebook Ate My Marriage.  Republished with permission from Hell Bent Press and the Author)

    Chapter 19:  Lawyers (Some Useful Thoughts On and About)

    While I have no answers to the relationship questions (and based upon papers our company has been served with by a competing firm that struck upon the same solution we had regarding genetic testing for spousal insanity), I also now have no answers on how to make divorce profitable, outside of being a lawyer. Therefore, I do have a few pointers on the subject matter of lawyers. None of which, I am stressing here, constitutes the practice of law. (more…)

    Home For The Holidays!

     

    Image By: chefranden

    (Excerpt From Facebook Ate My Marriage.  Republished with permission from Hell Bent Press and the Author)

    Chapter 58:  Interlude

    Snowflakes pelted me as I walked up the drive to the front porch of the Ash Forge, Wisconsin, home where a single light burned brightly in the deluge of snow that had accompanied me since I left the airport in Chicago.  The light and the house could be described as old friends of childhood days or memories of years past.  But they aren’t. They are new and difficult to explain to anyone who is not one of our tribe.  Why, after long and successful careers in the mid-Atlantic states, would someone choose to return to the frigid northern tier ofWisconsinin retirement?  Homing instinct?  No.  Neither of my parents are from this far north in the state.  Technically, I am not even from Wisconsin, due to an interview my father had for an engineering job in Lubbock, Texas.  In the most tenuous sense of the word, I am a Texan – a fact that my mother has openly fretted over and expressed sincere regret about through two presidential terms of office.

    What brings a retiring couple to Ash Forge, Wisconsin, is that it strikes the right balance of distance from large populations, universities, and cultural opportunities with much craved privacy.  Which is to say – they can drive to what they want, when they want, and leave it when they no longer want it in roughly 20 minutes.  So they built this house two years ago in Ash Forge, a place which the Lynn children have visited only a few times, but which is now the official family seat for holiday gatherings. (more…)

    SOCIAL MEDIA CAN KILL YOU!

    Image by:stevendepolo

    SOCIAL MEDIA CAN KILL MORE THAN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

    THE AVERAGE AMERICAN WILL SPEND 57% of THEIR WAKING HOURS

     CONSUMING INTERNET AND TELEVISION

    IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 25 YOU SPEND 31 HOURS A WEEK ON THE INTERNET

    IF YOU ARE AN AMERICAN YOU ALSO SPEND 33 HOURS A WEEK WATCHING TELEVISION

    That means in one year you LOSE 139 DAYS of Your LIFE in front of your computer and television.

    In politics they say,” If you want a friend in this world, get a dog.” (Harry Truman) Frankly, if you are sitting in front of the television and computer for more than half your day you don’t even have time for the dog; unless you want it to crap in the house.

    CUSPER LYNN FACEBOOK ATE MY MARRIAGE

    FUN FACT  #1

    LEARN THE REAL SECRET BEHIND HUMAN EVOLUTION

    IN CHAPTER 10 of FACEBOOK ATE MY MARRIAGE

    HINT:  Dog Crap and Boredom (more…)

    SOCIAL MEDIA RELATIONSHIP MATH MAGIC!

    Image by:chrstpre

    FACEBOOK IS INVOLVED IN 90% OF ALL DIVORCES *

    (For 2010 that would mean it was involved in just over a quarter of a million divorces in the US alone)

    Let’s do some Social Media Math.   EHarmony we are told has the highest number of marriages among Social Media dating sites; on average, 236 a day.    Guess what?   They are bragging that they are representing 2% of all New Marriages in the United States.    Let’s do the math.  236 x 365 = 86,140 eHarmony marriages.

        Let’s round down and say Facebook was only cited in 225,000 divorces in 2010.

        225,000 Facebook divorces -86,140 EHarmony Marriages = 138,860 Net Social Media Divorces

    138,860 Net Social Media Divorces for 2010 (more…)

    Social Media: The Renaissance of Human Ignorance?

    • Tuesday Nov 1,2011 05:46 AM
    • By Cusper Lynn
    • In Social Media

    Image by: emilydickinsonridesabmx's

    Social Media: The Renaissance of Human Ignorance?

    By

    Cusper Lynn

                    Recently, finding myself besieged by journalists with a range of useless questions, which invariably end with the phrase “and how do you feel about that?” I found myself wondering about the internet and human ignorance.   The web and ever expanding communications once promised to push back the limitations of the human intellect and expand the term “intelligence” in ways previously never before conceived of.   Back in those early and heady days of free data access I can well remember perusing libraries collections of ancient text, fragments of all but missing manuscript online and connecting with people worldwide on a broad range of topics.    When that all came to a screeching halt I am not entirely certain.

    It has been speculated that the ever narrowing range of internet experiences the average user finds are part of a conspiracy by government or industry, to limit and commoditize the web’s capacity.    Often advocates of these theories will point to individual countries and sometimes collections of countries whose policies appear to choke off or at least attempt to achieve a strangle hold on the web.

    My personal theory is quite the opposite.   While in the early day of the web, when quality information was readily transferable, and pornography was extremely slow to download, intellect advanced ahead of ignorance.   But with the migration of news media to the web, true and unadulterated ignorance gained its first serious foot hold.    Later, with the advent of social media network systems ignorance entered into a renaissance. (more…)

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