Social Media & FBAMM

Divorce in the Age of Social Media

CUSPER LYNN IS ON FIRE!

You heard right!  Cusper Lynn is on FIRE!

The Kindle Fire!

AND YOU CAN GET HIM ABSOLUTELY FREE!*

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* That’s right, not only do Amazon Prime Members get UNLIMITED, INSTANT STREAMING of popular Movies and TV SHOWS, they also GET CUSPER LYNN and Thousands of other Authors’ Books for FREE through the Kindle Owners’ Lending Library.

We are talking about over 100 current and former New York Times Bestsellers at your finger tips! Why are you waiting?

GET ON FIRE, NOW!

This plug for Kindle, Kindle Fire and AMAZON Prime Membership is brought you by CUSPER LYNN and Facebook Ate My Marriage.

Facebook Ate My Marriage,  the Ebook,  is exclusively available on the Amazon Kindle and Free to Amazon Prime Members through the Kindle Lending Library.

The trade paper edition of Facebook Ate My Marriage is available wherever fine books are sold.

 

 For other special offers visit us at www.fbamm.com and www.Facebookatemymarriage.com

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  • PATHETIC

    Image By: anneh632

    (Excerpt From Facebook Ate My Marriage.  Republished with permission from Hell Bent Press and the Author)

    Chapter 6:  A Pathetic Way to End A Marriage

    Meat Time: Real life contact, human exposure. Existence.

     

    I first saw the term “Meat Time” in an IRC (Internet Relay Chat) in the late 1990s. I found it amusing on several levels. This was of course when my marriage was in its heyday, or halcyon days if you prefer. In retrospect, or rather in court filings, there never were any good days; everything was hellfire and brimstone. In fact, a review of our marriage and the 3 years before our marriage would, were you to read our respective court filings, indicate that neither of us had consensual sex during the entire time we knew each other. Sadly, this means our five children were the product of mutually perpetuated rapes. Though one does wonder, if both parties are rapists, does that equal consent? Legal scholars will have to sort that question out.

    In any case, legal fictions aside, I mention “Meat Time” as it was in this context that I was having a conversation with a colleague and friend, Dr. Dexter Douglas, who hails from the Bronx. Read the rest of this entry »

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  • EVIL EYES FOR VALENTINE’S DAY

    Image by: Cali4beach

    (Excerpt From Facebook Ate My Marriage.  Republished with permission from Hell Bent Press and the Author)

     

    Chapter 22:  Dr. Kormos and a Greek Island

     

    It had never occurred to me, until Bryce mentioned it, to relate Dr. Kormos’ visit to the event of DeeAnn’s departure. Dr. Kormos, an oral surgeon we met when we first moved to Florida, is a short stocky man, balding, with a long, thick, curly auburn beard and a sort of bacchanalian personality – which is to say hard drinking, bawdy stories, stuffed grape leaves and baklava. His wife, Larissa, who is 15 years younger than him, shows no physical signs that she is the mother of four fully grown children and is an absolute encyclopedia of knowledge of history, art and science. She is not, however, a doctor. A point DeeAnn was at some pains to drive home to Larissa when we were guests at the Kormos home several years ago. Read the rest of this entry »

    Portents and the Island

    Image by: ronsaunders47

    (Excerpt From Facebook Ate My Marriage.  Republished with permission from Hell Bent Press and the Author)

    Chapter 21:  Portents and the Island

    On our wedding night, DeeAnn and I did not have sex. This is not an entirely unusual event, or so friends have told me, following the full production wedding. So this, I am told, cannot be taken as a portent, despite the fact that we were quite alarmingly regular and mutually satisfied in our sexual relations up until that night. As she snoozed next to me in the airport hotel, thrumming that odd snore that was already familiar to me from our previous two years of living together (and that would grow in volume and develop a distinctive tenor quality over the next three decades), I turned on the television. What appeared was the sequence from a now ancient – and even at that time a classic – television program starring Patrick McGoohan. The program of course was the “The Prisoner,” and the sequence was the scene where the bars slam shut before Patrick McGoohan’s face as a still shot of him is moved to the foreground in the opening sequence; this all to drive home the idea that he was “The Prisoner” and was trapped on “The Island.”

    It was that exact sequence that I saw as I lay in the hotel bed, newlywed, unable to sleep (as would be the case for the better part of three decades), and was considering our honeymoon plans. We were going to an island – you know the type: beautiful beaches, debilitating humidity, private hotel enclaves situated among devastating poverty, drug addiction and disease. Where smiling native escorts guide you from the hotel property, for a fee and gratuity, into the “picturesque” recesses of the “tropical island nation” to take in the local sites and nature’s majesty. All of this so that you can walk along “rarely trodden paths” to see “cascading mountain waterfalls,” which your guide has the newlyweds wade out into so they can stand beneath the falls and have their picture taken as they “embrace and shower in its pristine waters.” Read the rest of this entry »

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  • Marriage And Ball Gags

    Image by: ryumu

    (Excerpt From Facebook Ate My Marriage.  Republished with permission from Hell Bent Press and the Author)

    Chapter 3:  Instant Messaging

    In 2002, after she was involved in an accident in Urbandale during a snow storm, my wife announced that we were moving to Florida. This was not news to me. In the previous decade, my wife had spent a month or more in the state of Florida mid-winter visiting her parents every year. The trend, as they would say, was not my friend. Our dental practice had been going well, and what is more, it went better when she was absent. This is not something I recognized at the time. But love is blind and marriage is a ball gag, harness and handcuffs (if you are single and have never been married you won’t understand that part of the sentence, so don’t even try). Read the rest of this entry »

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  • Image by:  Ninja M.

    (Excerpt From Facebook Ate My Marriage.  Republished with permission from Hell Bent Press and the Author)

    Chapter 2:  Two Lost Bets and Failure

    When I arrived at the clinic, Bernice Halson was already in the chair. In retrospect, I should have taken the day off from the practice. I had spent the morning at the attorney’s office signing the paperwork that would bring to an end my marriage. Not an event that puts one in a pleasant frame of mind, nor one that has one in the best of dispositions for the mindless civilities of professional life.

    Bernice Halson on a good day is an objectionable patient. She is a committed flosser, brushes three times a day, and attends regular cleanings. Despite radiation from multiple x-rays, with a lifetime of exposure to fluoridation at every possible level, she is the possessor of a fine set of teeth. Even her wisdom teeth arrived and remained, without any inconvenience. Her teeth – like her manicured nails and well tanned and toned body – represented something abhorrent to me. As a dentist, I should marvel that the millions of dollars spent annually to educate children on the importance of oral hygiene should have produced such a perfect patient. I knew better. Bernice Halson was simply vain. Her teeth, like her French manicured toes, were possessions, and as such were maintained to their admirable standard on this premise alone. But what I suppose I find most objectionable about Bernice Halson – attractive, toned and in her early forties – is that she is exactly who and what my soon-to-be ex-wife imagines herself to be. Read the rest of this entry »

    Some Thoughts On Attorneys

     

    Lawyers Guns n Money

     

     

     Image by:  k763

     

    (Excerpt From Facebook Ate My Marriage.  Republished with permission from Hell Bent Press and the Author)

    Chapter 19:  Lawyers (Some Useful Thoughts On and About)

    While I have no answers to the relationship questions (and based upon papers our company has been served with by a competing firm that struck upon the same solution we had regarding genetic testing for spousal insanity), I also now have no answers on how to make divorce profitable, outside of being a lawyer. Therefore, I do have a few pointers on the subject matter of lawyers. None of which, I am stressing here, constitutes the practice of law. Read the rest of this entry »

    Home For The Holidays!

     

    Image By: chefranden

    (Excerpt From Facebook Ate My Marriage.  Republished with permission from Hell Bent Press and the Author)

    Chapter 58:  Interlude

    Snowflakes pelted me as I walked up the drive to the front porch of the Ash Forge, Wisconsin, home where a single light burned brightly in the deluge of snow that had accompanied me since I left the airport in Chicago.  The light and the house could be described as old friends of childhood days or memories of years past.  But they aren’t. They are new and difficult to explain to anyone who is not one of our tribe.  Why, after long and successful careers in the mid-Atlantic states, would someone choose to return to the frigid northern tier ofWisconsinin retirement?  Homing instinct?  No.  Neither of my parents are from this far north in the state.  Technically, I am not even from Wisconsin, due to an interview my father had for an engineering job in Lubbock, Texas.  In the most tenuous sense of the word, I am a Texan – a fact that my mother has openly fretted over and expressed sincere regret about through two presidential terms of office.

    What brings a retiring couple to Ash Forge, Wisconsin, is that it strikes the right balance of distance from large populations, universities, and cultural opportunities with much craved privacy.  Which is to say – they can drive to what they want, when they want, and leave it when they no longer want it in roughly 20 minutes.  So they built this house two years ago in Ash Forge, a place which the Lynn children have visited only a few times, but which is now the official family seat for holiday gatherings. Read the rest of this entry »

    Bullets for Christmas and other Surprises!

     

    shot gun santa

    Image by: yelhneb

    (Excerpt From Facebook Ate My Marriage.  Republished with permission from Hell Bent Press and the Author)

    Chapter 8:  Aversion Reactions

     

    There have been two times in my life when I was certain I was going to die. The first time was in my late 20s, when my appendix burst. I was in my second year of dental school and it was finals week when I had sharp burning pain in my lower right abdomen. I sat with the pain for nearly two hours – I had exams the next morning. Finally DeeAnn insisted on taking me to the hospital. Three hours and several diagnostic images later it was confirmed that my appendix had burst and they were rushing me into surgery. As the pain meds started to kick in, and before the general anesthesia was administered, I found myself laying naked on a gurney, covered by a sheet, doing an inventory of my life from my birth to the present day. It was not a flash back or seeing it pass before me. It was simply taking a measure of the life I had lived, the decisions I had made and the question of “Was I at peace?” were I not to survive the surgery. What I found was that I was at peace, that if I checked out while under general anesthesia, there were worse ways to go. Besides, my wife would be a doctor, she would be a dentist and could look after our two children with the help of our families. Read the rest of this entry »

    HYPEREVOLUTION: The Raptors and the Über Rabbits

    Image by: livinghood

    (Excerpt From Facebook Ate My Marriage.  Republished with permission from Hell Bent Press and the Author)

    Chapter 12:  Hyper Evolution and the Downfall of Frank Towbridge

    As I have previously noted, I spent my last extended period of familial isolation in Urbandale, Illinois, trapped with just two animals, one dog, Gertrude and one cat, Gildy, and attentive readers will remember that my cat count is now up to four. This change in the cat count in the Lynn family household has ramifications, both in the manner in which it occurred and for the neighborhood in which we reside. Read the rest of this entry »

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